Yesterday morning I had a heavy feeling in my chest. A sudden feeling of being completely overwhelmed, over busy and lacking in brain space. It's not the same feeling I had a few months ago, that seemed to be more to do with having babies and being a housewife by the age of 30. This was more to do with my complete lack of time to do the things I love. Those The Simple Things magazines? Still sat there, unopened. That scarf I started knitting two Christmasses ago, still there. Texts left unanswered, bills left unpayed. I thought of coming on here and ranting about how my life is so stressful and I'm doing too much, but let's get some perspective here. I have plenty of time. I just don't use it effectively.
This weekend was wonderful, long bike ride on Saturday (actually that was far from wonderful, 'bonking' on the way home was no fun, but I'll save that story for another day), stroll along the beach on Sunday followed by a pub lunch and comedy club in the evening. It should have been one of my most relaxing weekends in a long time, but it wasn't. I just kept thinking about all the jobs that needed doing. All the things I should have done weeks ago.
I recently listened to a presentation about the myth of time and basically, I need to get my shit together. So I'm holding myself to account. What's really the problem here?
1. I go to bed too late (says she, writing this post at 10.20pm), which in turn means I get up late and just about have enough time to eat breakfast, make myself look presentable and drive to work. If I could just make sure my lights were out by 10.30 I could be up and out of bed by 6.30/7 and actually get some stuff done in the mornings. Like training for this damn triathlon I've signed up to.
2. I never schedule my posts - I have a diary I use to keep on top of my blog, but I barely schedule any posts. I don't like to be too regimental with my blog, at the end of the day it's personal and not my job, but I like to post regularly and I need to keep on top of my sponsors posts as they have to be written by a certain date. But I could dedicate an evening a week to all things bloggy, rather than steal an hour every night that I could use to finish that rather fetching scarf I started.
3. Saying no - I use to struggle to say yes, but lately I seem to have the opposite problem. I think it's to put off the triathlon training. But as well as denting my fitness levels, my bank balance is taking a hit. I believe in having some spontaneity in life, but perhaps I shouldn't say yes to every social invitation that comes my way, I don't really have a free weekend until October!
4. To do lists - for a list lover, I don't write many to do lists. Perhaps I should start writing a weekly to-do list. And no procrastinating allowed. The 20 minute phone call to HMRC yesterday did not eat up my entire lunch break, you can eat whilst on hold believe it or not! And just ticking that off my non-existent list lifted a weight off my shoulders.
5. Being late - I am always late. Which in turn leads to stress, makes me feel rushed, makes me feel like I have no time. You see the pattern here? So from now on I am going to be early! Or at least on time. No early! Crikey, that's a big one.
6. My iPhone - the ultimate tool of procrastination! When I need to get shit done, that damn contraption needs to be well out of reach. Perhaps I should ration time spent on it. It's the first thing I look at in the morning and the last thing I look at at night. How sad is that? If I really want to read something first thing in the morning, surely my latest book or one of those precariously balanced magazines would be a better choice.
I'm sure there are way more things I could do to manage my time better, but I'm off to a bad start as it's now nearly 11 at night. I'll start this time management business tomorrow.
Have you got any tips for fitting it all in?